THIS JUST IN: Local church life isn’t for the faint of heart. There are people in those churches, and that means challenges for everyone who dares to engage in a meaningful way. That is as much a reality as gravity. What will we do with this reality? By the way we order our lives, we are choosing one of these options:

Option 1: Forget It

Simply exempt ourselves from it all. The bride has spots and wrinkles, so just steer clear. Sorry, not an option for Christians. Baby Christians might think like that, but people who have lived with that view for a long time need to be asking serious questions about why they are still so disconnected with the mind of Christ. Though she does have spots and wrinkles, Jesus Christ isn’t running away from His bride, He is running towards her: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish” (Eph. 5:25-27).

This text helps correct our inclinations to exempt ourselves from the local church in two ways. First, it forces us to consider that we, each of us individually, contribute to the spots and wrinkles. Not the nebulous “them.” The specific “me.” A heaping helping of humble pie is essential for life in close quarters. Second, if the goal is to be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ and to have His mind, we need to see the church, and that means our local church, through His lenses of the ongoing, progressive sanctification that He is accomplishing in His people.

Option 2: Find the Perfect Church

There was a perfect church – God walked with Adam and Eve in the garden in the cool of the day for two whole chapters, and then came chapter three. Sin entered the world, and churches have never been the same. Deal with it. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be careful about what church we join, and I’m not saying people can never leave one church for another. I am saying that too many people have wasted too many years chasing a fantasy. Find a sound church and literally spend your life there, by Paul’s definition: “And I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I am loved” (2 Cor. 12:15). As you can see, Paul did not suffer from naivety about church life. He simply pressed forward anyway.

Option 3: Keep It Unreal

Sinners in the church? No problem, we can just keep interaction at the surface level. Pre-damage control, as it were. Minimize the contact, minimize the risk. That way we can love doctrine without having to love people. But wait – isn’t the doctrine so we can love people? Matthew 22:36-40, “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

If love for God and neighbor is the great frame for all of this law that we are so eager to parse and nuance, if love is the fulfillment of the law (Rom. 13:10), then loving the Law of God without loving each other – as the Bible defines love in 1 Corinthians 13 and elsewhere – is way worse than silly. And for anyone who thinks they can nurture love for God while staying above messy entanglements with fellow believers, check 1 John 4:20, “If someone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?” It is clear that love for God and love for each other have an unbreakable connection, and that this isn’t cotton-candy emotion only love, it is meat-and-potatoes sacrifice for each other love.

A local church where everything operates at the surface level is a Frankenstein of our own creation, not the Bible’s. Search the New Testament for the phrase “one another” and feast your eyes on how God actually wants us to live together.

Option 4: Embrace, Cultivate, and Maintain the Close Quarters

Oh, that God would give us hearts so full of His forgiveness, grace, and love that we could look at the inherent dangers of living in close quarters and say “BRING IT ON!” Let it be said that I feel the full fury of the proverbial three fingers pointing back at me. What rises in my heart during the inevitable dust-ups that occur when we live together in close quarters condemns me for my own lack of love. But I have hope, because I know that I need to be different, I want to be different, and little by little I am starting to be different.

What about you? God brings His people together into close quarters for His own purposes. Proverbs 14:4, “Where no oxen are, the trough is clean; But much increase comes by the strength of an ox.” Do we want clean, or do we want strength for the kingdom of God? We have a big commission, a Great Commission, and when we settle for clean, we must understand how much strength is lost.

Trust God. He is right about the way we should live together. He is teaching me how to live in close quarters in a local church for His glory, and He is teaching you the same. Don’t exempt yourself. Call off the search for the perfect church. Commit yourself to a sound one and get below the surface in close quarter relationships for a long time. When we do that, though life won’t always be “clean,” we will have the strength for serving God that we need and want.

Jason Dohm has been married to Janet for twenty years, with a wonderful result being six children ages five to sixteen. Following a lengthy career in electronics manufacturing, Jason now serves full-time as an elder of Sovereign Redeemer Community Church in Youngsville, NC. He graduated from University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill in 1992 with a B.A. in education.

Here is the layman's guide to the key drivers of the 21^st century church:

1. Sola Cultura - let culture define church life

2. Sola Successa - let numerical success legitimize activities

3. Sola Entertaina - let entertainment be the guiding principle

4. Sola Edificia - let the edifice be the center of church life

5. Sola Programma - let programs dominate the peoples' time

6. Sola Thralldoma – let the people be enslaved by whatever thrills them

7. Sola Processa – let the church be managed by business philosophies and processes

“Nations are nothing but a collection of families. The good order of families depends entirely upon keeping up the highest standard of respect for the marriage tie, and on the right training of children.”

– J. C. Ryle, Expository Thoughts on the Gospels: Matthew, (Edinburgh: Banner of Truth Trust, 1986), 233.

I really liked this article by David Sunday, Embracing the Biblical Tension Between Family and Church Ministry. The author clearly stated the complimentary roles of church and family as well as nuanced the tensions that are there. Here are a couple of my favorite lines, 

"Mike Bullmore says, God has a design for your family and ministry so that faithfulness in the family enhances faithfulness in the church, and faithfulness in the church enhances faithfulness in the family."

"God never separates the assignments he gives us from his sanctifying process in us. He is at work within your family ministry to sanctify you for your church ministry---and he is at work within your church ministry to sanctify your family."

Iain Murray defined biblical revival this way: "Thus what characterizes a revival is not the employment of unusual or special means but rather the extraordinary degree of blessing attending the normal means of grace."

– Iain H. Murray, Revival and Revivalism: The Making and Marring of American Evangelicalism 1750-1858, (Edinburgh: Banner of Truth Trust, 1994), 129.

Today, the Christian Post released my article called "The Greatest Untapped Evangelistic Opportunity Before the Modern Church." In it, you'll read,

There are many mission fields, but family presents what may be the greatest untapped evangelistic opportunity before the church today. What is at stake is the salvation of millions of children under the evangelistic and discipleship ministry of fathers and mothers in the home. This is not the only mission field, to be sure, but it is perhaps the most neglected mission field before the church in our time.

Please read the full article and like it, tweet it, or google+ it on the Christian Post.

Here is an excellent essay over at The Gospel Coalition explaining the tragic results of what has happened as we tried to minister to youth. Here are a few of the sound bites:

- “we segregated youth from the rest of the congregation”

- “we incorporated an attractional model that morphed into entertainment-driven ministry”

- “we lost sight of the Great Commission, deciding instead to make converts of many and disciples of few”

- “we created a consumer mentality amongst this generation”

What is the conclusion (based on this article)?

“The task before us is enormous. We need to change the way we pass the faith to the next generation. Believing in the sufficiency of Scripture, we must turn to the Bible to teach us how to do ministry (rather than just what to teach).”

My Friend R.C. Sproul Jr. answers this question here.

C. Jeffrey Robinson Sr., from Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, wrote an article called "The Home is an Earthly Kingdom: Family Discipleship Among the Reformers and Puritans, Part 1–Martin Luther."

The early reformers discovered the rich truths in the Word of God about the family. Robinson writes: 

From Luther’s perspective, parenting is not a secular duty but a holy vocation and a divine calling. The family is the pre-eminent estate of life-an estate that preceded the Fall of humanity and functions as the fundamental component of social order within every culture: “Thus all who are called masters stand in the place of parents and must derive from them their power and authority to govern.” (Read the entire article.)

The reformer John Calvin also had a vision for the family. Like no other reformer, Calvin provided the exegetical precision that defined the terms for a biblical vision of family life. With crystal clarity he explained the details of the how the family had exchanged the glory of God for a lie. We should be thankful to this dear brother for excavating the gold mines of the Bible and exposing the raw biblical language and bedrock principles that form the doctrine of the Christian family.

The NCFIC published a book that unveils John Calvin's thought on the family. It is called Family Reformation: The Legacy of Sola Scriptura in Calvin's Geneva.

Last week Paul Martin wrote a blog entitled “Why we need Youth ministry” for The Gospel Coalition. In this blog, the author asserts the necessity of youth groups. A basic read of his post will show one very important factor missing: Scripture. The only support the author finds is in reference to the Jewish education tradition.

Relying on the cultural practices of Jewish or any other tradition to support one’s position is a truly unbiblical path to take because it elevates tradition to an authoritative level near to that of Scripture. While I am certain this is not the author’s intent and I am positive that he would ensure that his readers understood that, it is inevitably the logical conclusion one must reach when using this method of support. The development of these rabbinical schools which the writer refers to stands in stark contrast to the commands given in Deuteronomy 6. To his dismay, the writer would find that rather than being an advocate for rabbibical tradition, Jesus was rather adamant that many of these traditions were not in line with God’s Word (Matthew 15:1-9).

In order to make the present day case for youth ministry, Paul provides three brief points.

His first point is merely based on circular reason: “Youth ministry exists because it is needed”. His point is rather short and centered on a quote by Robert Epstein which itself assumes that it is the role of the church to determine the maturity of youth and not that of the parent. The need for youth to be discipled does exist, but the answer to this need is for the parents of these children to be the ones who minister to their youth.

His second point is equally based on his presuppositional interpretation of Scripture. He calls his readers back to the type of discipleship modeled by Christ but misapplies this due to his drive to promote youth ministry. However, he again gives no direct Scripture references but seems to hope that the broad appeal to model Christ will be enough for most of his readers.

The previous two attempts by the writer are lacking in their call to action, but his final point should cause us to pause and really question what it is he is trying to promote. In short, and with a slight of hand seen only by the most talented of illusionists, he paints those who are resistant to youth ministry as archaic. “Change” is the banner he wishes to raise and those who will not help to hoist it are, by his standard, standing in the way of the spiritual maturity of the next generation.

In his closing paragraph, Paul Martin unknowingly shows his hand. “Youth ministry is a cultural phenomenon…” To this we can certainly agree. Youth ministry is based on culture and has itself become a cultural group with our churches.

In the epistle to the church in Colossae, Paul warns the believers to be on guard against “…philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ” (Col. 2:8). Colossae was steeped in Greek philosophical tradition peppered with gnostic teaching and existing Jewish culture. While the warning Paul gave was likely directed at specific teaching, the principle cannot be missed: culture, philosophy, and tradition is insufficient for the believer unless it is founded in Scripture. Thus, in verse 10, Paul reminds us that we are “complete in Him (Christ)” and have no need to add to His teaching or seek additional ideas outside of what has been expressly given in the Word.

How can anyone base the necessity of a church ministry or practice without the use of Scripture? As Paul Martin’s article reveals, it is more commonplace than we are willing to admit. Pragmatism, tradition, and the appealing to man’s wisdom have crept their way into our churches. Over time, seemingly unnoticed by most, it has begun to blossom into the age-segregated ministries we see touted and vehemently defended by many today.

If we simply start with Scripture and rely on it as our foundation for Christian life, family ministry, and church structure, we will have no need to look to tradition or empty philosophies to support our positions. Without realizing it, the author has stepped outside of the authoritative camp of Scripture and into the pragmatic camp which others before him have unwittingly done. If youth groups are truly biblical, all that is needed is Scripture to prove such. If they cannot be supported by Scripture, then they simply have no place in church life.

One of the marks of Christian faith which Charles Spurgeon preached so fervently for is the sufficiency of Scripture. He said,

If the revelation of God were not enough for our faith, what could we add to it? Who can answer this question? What would any man propose to add to the sacred Word? A moment's thought would lead us to scout with derision the most attractive words of men, if it were proposed to add them to the Word of God. The fabric would not be of a piece. Would you add rags to a royal vestment? Would you pile the filth of the streets in a king's treasury? Would you join the pebbles of the sea-shore to the diamonds of Golconda? Anything more than the Word of God sets before us, for us to believe and to preach as the life of men, seems utterly absurd to us; yet we confront a generation of men who are always wanting to discover a new motive power, and a new gospel for their churches. – Charles Spurgeon

Such zeal for the Word is seemingly needed more today than ever.

Adam Gray is the founding elder of Reformed Baptist Fellowship of the Albemarle, a newly planted church in Elizabeth City, NC. He graduated from Liberty University with a B.S. in religion and is finishing his Master's Degree in Apologetics at Luther Rice Seminary. Adam has been married to his wife Tracy for over 13 years. They have six children ages 12, 10, 7, 5, 3, and 1. Adam is also a Chief in the U.S. Coast Guard and has been serving on active duty for over 16 years. He has worked with Living Waters' Ambassador's Academy and is active in street preaching.

Our friend Joaquin Fernandez was recently interviewed at "Expolit 2012" – a Spanish conference in Florida.

Here's a brief report of the radio interview for 88.3, the local Hispanic Christian radio station:

Before we recorded the interview, the host told me he had watched Dividida during the Expo. His father in law, who is a pastor in Venezuela, picked up a free copy and after watching it, made him watch it. The radio show host is a pastor of a new church plant and they still don't have children's church or any other age-segregated ministries. When he saw the film, he was upset and resisted it, mostly because he was a product of the Sunday school movement, and as his wife reminded him, a former youth pastor himself. He had to watch it a second time and then he got it! During our interview, he strongly endorsed the film and told a little of his story, saying that it was truly eye-opening to him to realize where age segregation had come from and realizing that the Scriptures never mention it. He was so excited about us being here.

Please pass these Spanish resources to Spanish-speaking people that you know or with whom you go to church. Dividida is available online for free at http://www.divididalapelicula.com/

In addition, there are Spanish resources at the Spanish NCFIC webiste (CNIFI): http://cnifi.org/

As part of the NCFIC's Spanish launch, Joaquin Fernandez and his family and Alfredo Litardo and his wife, Pilar, went to "Expolit 2012" to promote the message of church and family reformation in Spanish. Please look at the new NCFIC Spanish website (CNIFI) and the new Divided Spanish website (Dividida).

On Cinco de Mayo, the NCFIC is launching the NCFIC and Divided websites in Spanish!

To view the NCFIC Spanish website, click here.

To view the Divided Spanish website, click here.

Divided has been fully subtitled in Spanish and is available online with many of the bonus features actually dubbed in Spanish. Please share this with your Spanish neighbors and friends.

The Gospel Coalition seems to continue to make our arguments for us (while still seeking to legitimize, nurse, and resuscitate a failed system). Here is a quote from this article:

But the thing is, we have to be sure that we don't segregate the youth for our sake and theirs. They are part of the body of Christ too, and no part of the body can remain healthy if one of its members is cut off and put to the side. If we segregate the youth, not only do we lose all they have to teach us, but we also inadvertently teach them that the church is really only for adults---those who are married and have families of their own. And then we wonder why they don't get involved in church as college students or young singles, when in reality, we've been telling them all along that the church isn't yet for them.

It seems that the term patriarchy has fallen on hard times. But what is biblical patriarchy?

Consider the seventh command, "You shall not commit adultery" (Deut. 5:18). This command initiates a celebration of the wonderful commands of God for marriage. This command takes us into the deepest recesses of the heart of God's love for men and women. He desires us to mirror His own nature in the loving unified relationships in the Godhead as well as His sacrificial love for the Church that Christ demonstrates. This is the essence of biblical patriarchy, and it displays the truth that God's commands for marriage are both a soothing breeze and a wall of protection for all those who would obey them.

Why do I say that this command is the essence of biblical patriarchy? Because Christ's love for the Church is the supreme example of what we mean by patriarchal leadership. There are different kinds of patriarchy out there to choose from, but the Bible has the perfect form that is communicated in summary form in 1 Corinthians 11:3: "But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." It is through this patriarchal chain of loving leadership that women are loved and cared for. Love begins in heaven in the heart of a loving Father. It is passed down to His Son who gives it to man who presents it to a woman. This is biblical patriarchy – the love of the Father expressed to Christ, who expresses it to man, who expresses it to a woman in marriage.

Now consider this: Not only does God give husbands to be communicators and demonstrators of His love to their wives. Additionally, He lovingly gives every Christian woman a direct line to the blessings of Christ through the Spirit. It is in this way that God supplies a double conduit of love for the daughters of Zion. Nowhere but in a biblically structured marriage is a woman more honored, cherished, and loved. This is biblical patriarchy.

AP Writer Linda Stewart Ball reported on a phenomena – leaderless unstructured, do as you please home churches. The NCFIC has consistently spoken against these kinds of churches – click here to listen to this audio message, “What about Home Churching.” While Scripture makes it clear that the location of the meeting may be in a home, it is the structure and practice that defines a true church.

She writes of this increasingly common situation:

To get to church on a recent Sunday morning, the Yeldell family walked no farther than their own living room to greet fellow worshipers.

The members of this "house church" are part of what experts say is a fundamental shift in the way U.S. Christians think about church. Skip the sermons, costly church buildings and large, faceless crowds, they say. House church is about relationships forged in small faith communities.

In general, house churches consist of 12 to 15 people who share what's going on in their lives, often turning to Scriptures for guidance. They rely on the Holy Spirit or spontaneity to lead the direction of their weekly gatherings.

The author quotes church leader Ed Stetzer who speaks of why this might be happening. He says, "I think part of the appeal for some in the house church movement is the desire to return to a simpler expression of church," said Ed Stetzer, a seminary professor and president of Lifeway Research, which is affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention. "For many, church has become too much (like a) business while they just want to live like the Bible."

Perhaps this is true for some, but my view is that, in many cases, the real reason is that they have one – or more – several critical problems. First, it may be that they possess a very unbiblical understanding of the local church as Scripture defines it. In this case, their real problem is ignorance. The biblical ignorance in the American church is legendary. It is filled with people who have never sought out important matters that are explicitly described in Scripture. Second, it may simply be rebellion – a rejection of the jurisdiction and authority of the local church which God has established. Or, perhaps they are really unbelievers who really care nothing for the pattern God has instituted in the Bible because they ultimately care nothing of God Himself, but instead seek what makes them feel happy and at ease.

Whether it is ignorance or rebellion, our counsel is that people involved in these kinds of gatherings should flee to the institutional churches which maintain biblical practices, appoint biblically qualified leaders, and practice biblical discipline.